Okay Smashers, you’re probably wondering why I’ve asked you here. Well, we need to talk. It’s about doubles.

I have a burning passion for doubles, I really do. But rather than get on a soapbox and try to force that passion on the community, I think it’s time to do the right thing. I think we need to tilt our collective chin in the upward direction, shoulders back, and admit that it’s time to call it quits.

I think we need to abolish doubles tournaments.

As briefly as possible, I’m going to outline why I think doubles tournaments are no longer a worthwhile investment of our time, and I hope to Azen above that someone can write a counterpoint article that proves me wrong.

My principle and underlying argument is that the 2v2 medium of Smash competition has been in place for over 10 years, and has failed to take hold. I think it is better for us conscientiously kill it now, rather than watch it get dragged into the “platinum age” by a dull inertia. I think it might be more humane.

It’s Messy
Having four characters share one screen, especially in SSBM, is a hot mess under prime conditions. But imagine that you’ve got two to three foxes on the stage, and the stage is Dreamland. Now picture the way the camera zooms out – the stocks are in the way of the players, one of the foxes is a ghost, and green team is blending in with the bushes. Tell me that’s not a mess.

These aesthetic challenges compound the difficulty of simply trying to keep track of four players moving at split-second speeds. It’s hard to commentate properly. All of this means that spectators have trouble following these matches, and therefore become disinterested. In a word, they are inaccessible. I hear over and over again that casual players and spectators aren’t interested in doubles. And if spectators are the key to our future, then perhaps that future doesn’t feature doubles.

It’s Not Healthy Competition
Think about how you want our competitive scene to be represented, and how you’d like people to view us. Seriously, stop reading and think about it for a second. Now pick a tournament at random and look at the doubles results; odds are that no more than one team in the top five is a practiced unit. Rather, we tend to see teams cobbled together at the last-minute, and the two best players at the tournament almost invariably join together because it is their best chance to make money, and they just take 1st place by force.

But Smash 2v2 is incredibly complex. European teams have shown us just a sampling of what doubles should look like, and US teams are nowhere near it. If we haven’t, as a community, decided to take the time to harness the aforementioned mess in all these years, then I think it’s time to pull funding. Frankly it’s embarrassing to watch our best players bumble around the stage trying to make it through a doubles set with any kind of grace. (Of course there are exceptions, such as The Moon/DJ Nintendo, but these exceptions only prove the rule).

It Might Be Happening Anyway
I’ve attended tournaments with perhaps 30-50 people in the room, where only 5 teams enter. Often times the only teams that enter are ones that believe they have a chance at money.

I’ve been a spectator at home, trying desperately and unsuccessfully to find out details/results on a team tournament. Combing Reddit, Twitter, and Smashboards in vein and asking myself: isn’t the writing on the wall?

Ambiguity and apathy are our enemies, friends. We need to choose our goals wisely and work tirelessly toward them. Keeping that in mind, think of what we could do with the resources we would gain back by no longer hosting doubles. We could run smoother singles tournaments, less hectic and ending earlier, or perhaps add a new event – maybe crews? I’m just spitballing here, but what if we used the extra time to run boot camps where players new and old could sign up for on-site training?

Think about it, and share your opinions via your favorite social medium. Make your voice heard.

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Christopher “Wife” Fabiszak is a Melee enthusiast and author of Team Ben: A Year as a Professional Gamer